面具背后的男孩 Sam, The Boy Behind the Mask
http://www.joyen.net/article/reading/1/201107/4402.html
一個(gè)孩子,因?yàn)榕c生俱來的面貌缺陷,而承擔(dān)了與其年齡極不相符的苦難,也因此無法享受正常孩子輕易獲取的快樂。閱讀這個(gè)故事時(shí)苦澀的感受就像四年前的那個(gè)深夜,我在舍友的酣睡聲中挑燈流著淚看完余華《活著》時(shí)的感受——世界上再?zèng)]有故事主角所不能承受的痛苦了。
當(dāng)美貌甚至成為當(dāng)今社會(huì)的一種經(jīng)濟(jì),人們愈發(fā)膚淺地用相貌評(píng)判一個(gè)人時(shí),我們應(yīng)該清醒:內(nèi)在美,人性的閃光點(diǎn),更值得人們贊頌與追求! ——Lavender
文字難度:★★★
He pauses to study his face in the mirror, to see what otherssee when they look at him.
他停下來,端詳起鏡子里自己的臉,想看看他人眼中的自己是怎么一副模樣。
A huge mass of flesh balloons from theleft side of his face. The main body of tissue, 1)laced with blueveins, 2)swells in a 3)dome from 4)sideburn level to chin. The massdraws his left eye into a 5)slit, 6)warps his mouth into a smallinverted half-moon. It looks as though someone had slapped threepounds of wet clay onto his face, where it clings, burying the boyinside.
他的左臉有一大團(tuán)如汽球般鼓脹的血肉腫塊,夾雜著藍(lán)色血管的組織主體,從鬢腳到下巴隆起一個(gè)包。腫塊把他的左眼拉扯成一條細(xì)縫,嘴巴扭曲成嘴角朝下的小月牙狀。看起來好像有人在他臉上打了三磅重(約2.72斤)未干的陶土,從此粘住不動(dòng),把少年的臉埋在了里面。
But his right eye is clear and perfectly formed. His 7)iris isa deep, penetrating brown, and one third of his face surroundingthis normal eye gives the impression of a normal teenager. Sam’s8)close-cropped hair is shaped carefully, 9)trimmed neatly behindhis delicate right ear. His right cheek glows with the blushinggood health that the rest of his face has obscured.
但他的右眼清澈晶亮,形狀完美無瑕;虹膜是深邃、具穿透力的褐色。如果只看這只正常眼睛周圍三分之一的臉龐,他是正常少年的模樣。山姆寸長(zhǎng)的短發(fā)精心剪過,秀氣的右耳后面修得很整齊;右頰泛著他臉上其余地方看不到的健康紅暈。
There is the mask.
面具在那里。
And there is the boy behind the mask.
面具背后的男孩也在那里。
The last school bell rings, and students crowd out ofclassrooms and jam the halls. They gather in front of lockers totalk, they shout and make plans for the afternoon. Sam slipsthrough them unnoticed and heads home on a winding street.
放學(xué)鈴響了,學(xué)生們涌出課室,擠滿了過道。他們聚在帶鎖的柜子前交談,呼叫著,討論下午的安排。山姆從他們中間閃過,沒有人留意到他。他順著一條蜿蜒的街道立即回家。
When reaching home, he goes upstairs directly. He walks alongthe hall to the door with the toy 10)license plate announcing“Sam.” In his room he 11)fiddles with a 12)laptop, leafs through amotorcycle magazine, and plays with a 13)foam basketball.
到家后,他徑直上樓了。他沿著過道走到那扇掛著玩具車牌的門,車牌上寫著“山姆”。他在房間里時(shí)而胡亂擺弄著筆記本電腦,時(shí)而翻閱一本摩托車雜志,時(shí)而玩玩海綿籃球。
He sits on the bed and 14)tosses the ball across the room,hitting a poster on the wall. His mother made that poster,assembling family photographs and documents and then 15)laminatingthem. They are the 16)remnants of a fading childhood.
他坐在床上,把球在房間里拋投著,球打到墻上的一張海報(bào)上。海報(bào)是他媽媽把家庭照片和文字材料聚攏起來剪貼而成的,是他逐漸遠(yuǎn)去的童年里僅剩的東西。
In the middle of the poster is a questionnaire Sam filled outwhen he was eight. He had been asked to list his three greatestwishes. First, he said, he wanted $1 million. Next, a dog. On thethird line, he 17)doodled three question marks——back then, hecouldn’t think of anything else he wanted or needed. If he could begranted one wish now, it would be to look better. Not perfect. Notlike a model. Sam just wants to look a little more normal. He wantspeople to see beyond his face.
海報(bào)中央是山姆八歲時(shí)填寫的一張調(diào)查表,他被要求列出自己的三大愿望。第一,他寫道,他想要一百萬美元。其次,他想要一只狗。在第三行,他胡亂寫了三個(gè)問號(hào)——當(dāng)時(shí)他想不出自己還盼望或需要什么別的東西。如果他現(xiàn)在能有一個(gè)愿望被滿足,那他會(huì)要求讓自己長(zhǎng)得好看一些。不需要完美,不需要長(zhǎng)得像個(gè)模特兒。山姆僅僅希望自己的外表看上去正常一點(diǎn)。他希望人們能看到他面孔以外的東西。
He hears the back door shut downstairs. His father is home.Sam goes to his door. He can hear his parents talking, and helistens carefully, but he can’t make out the words. Maybe hisparents are talking about him.
他聽到樓下傳來后門關(guān)上的聲音。爸爸回家了。山姆走近他的房門。他可以聽到爸媽在談話,他很仔細(xì)地聽著,卻一個(gè)詞也沒有聽清。也許爸媽正在談?wù)撍?/p>
He changes into his clothes for the 18)open house, the shirtand pants he selected with such care. All eighth-graders are19)obsessed with how they look and how they’ll 20)fit in at school.Sam is no different. He watches MTV. He knows what’s consideredpopular and cool. He knows what girls like. Everyone talks aboutbeauty being on the inside, but Sam knows that’s only what peopletell themselves. It may seem true to little kids, or to men andwomen in their forties. But to a teenager like Sam, it’s alie.
因?yàn)橐獏⒓幽乘袑W(xué)的接待日活動(dòng),他換上了先前精心挑選出來的襯衣和褲子。八年級(jí)的學(xué)生都很在乎自己的外表,關(guān)心怎樣才能在學(xué)校里贏得人緣。山姆也不例外。他看音樂電視臺(tái),知道當(dāng)下流行什么,知道大家覺得什么最酷。他知道女孩子喜歡什么。每個(gè)人都在談?wù)撝鴥?nèi)在美,但山姆知道那只是人們?cè)谄垓_自己。也許對(duì)于小孩子,或者那些四十多歲的男人女人來說,真有什么內(nèi)在美。但對(duì)于像山姆這樣的少年,它是一個(gè)謊言。
When Sam 21)was due to arrive at middle school, hisfifth-grade teacher, worried that he would be teased andmisunderstood, created a slide show on his life. She gatheredphotographs of Sam from his family, and asked students who knew himin grade school to write letters of introduction. Then she held anassembly at the middle school, and at all the 22)grade schools thatwould send kids to 23)Gregory Heights. After the students had seenpictures of Sam, she read the letters written by hisschoolmates.
當(dāng)山姆到了念中學(xué)的年齡,五年級(jí)時(shí)教他的老師很擔(dān)心他會(huì)被同學(xué)嘲笑和誤解,便圍繞他的生活制作了一組幻燈片。她從山姆家收集了他的一些照片,并叫那些念小學(xué)就認(rèn)識(shí)山姆的學(xué)生給他寫介紹信。然后她在山姆就讀的格雷戈里•海特中學(xué),以及那些將把孩子送到格雷戈里•海特中學(xué)就讀的小學(xué)里都各舉辦了一次集會(huì)。學(xué)生們看完山姆的照片以后,那個(gè)老師念了山姆的同學(xué)寫的一些信。
“I’ve known Sam for the greater portion of my time at RoseCity Park,” one student wrote. “Not very well until this year,though. I remember that kids, ignorant, hateful kids, would makefun of him....Think how horrible it was for him. I, like many otherpeople, did nothing. I was quiet and got my fair share ofteasing....I deeply regret [that I did nothing]. I wasn’t in Sam’sclass again until fifth grade. I saw a tremendous improvement inthe other kids. Perhaps ignorance was our biggest enemy. I saw anew side of Sam, too. A side that had always been there, a sidethat only needed a closer look. So I ask you, before you judge Sam,or anyone for that matter, remember that a person’s true beauty isnot on the outside, but within their heart.”
“我在玫瑰城公園小學(xué)時(shí)已經(jīng)認(rèn)識(shí)山姆很久了,”一個(gè)學(xué)生寫道。“但直到今年才比較了解他。我記得那些無知、可憎的孩子常取笑他……想想看,這些遭遇對(duì)他來說多么恐怖啊。我像其他的許多人一樣,沒有阻止那些孩子。我只是安安靜靜的,有時(shí)也參與到他們的嘲笑中……我很后悔(自己沒有為他做任何事)。直到五年級(jí),我才有機(jī)會(huì)再次和山姆同班。我看到了其他孩子們的巨大進(jìn)步。也許無知就是我們最大的敵人。我也看到了山姆新的一面,它一直存在在那里,我們只需要仔細(xì)一些就可以看見。所以我請(qǐng)求你們,在你們?cè)u(píng)價(jià)山姆或者其他人之前,請(qǐng)記住,一個(gè)人真正的美并不表現(xiàn)在外面,而是深藏在心里的?!?/p>
Sam’s teacher ended the assemblies by reminding students thatwhile Sam looked different, he was a normal boy. They didn’t haveto be his best friends, but they should not be afraid of him, ormake fun of him.
集會(huì)臨結(jié)束時(shí),山姆的老師提醒同學(xué)們說,雖然山姆看上去和一般人不同,但他是一個(gè)正常的男孩。他們不需要成為山姆最好的朋友,但他們不應(yīng)該害怕他或者嘲笑他。
Life hasn’t been perfect for Sam in middle school. Teacherswere shocked when they first saw him. When he walked down the halls24)early on, he knew that a lot of kids and teachers assumed he wasa special education student. In time, though, everyone in theschool has come to see him as just Sam. They don’t care about the25)disfiguring mass, or at least they don’t show it if they do. Buthigh school and beyond, he knows, will be different. No matter whatpeople tell him, Sam recognizes that he is moving into a largerworld of judgmental teenagers. And he carries with him a terriblehandicap, a face that scares others.
中學(xué)的生活對(duì)于山姆來說并不完美。老師們第一眼看見他的時(shí)候都嚇了一跳。起初當(dāng)他沿著過道走過去時(shí),他知道很多學(xué)生和老師都以為他是特殊學(xué)校的孩子。然而不久,學(xué)校里的每一個(gè)人都僅僅把他看成是山姆了。他們不介意他臉上那個(gè)丑陋的腫塊,或者至少,他們不會(huì)表現(xiàn)出他們的介意。但山姆知道,高中以及高中以后的世界就不一樣了。不管人們?cè)鯓訉捨克?,山姆明白自己正走向一個(gè)圈子更大的世界,那里面滿是喜歡評(píng)頭品足、臧否人事的青少年。而他有一項(xiàng)嚴(yán)重的殘疾,一張嚇人的臉。
He checks the clock, and sees that it’s almost time to go. Hetakes a deep breath. He hopes he’s picked the right clothes.
他看了看鐘,發(fā)現(xiàn)就該出發(fā)了。他深深吸了一口氣,希望自己身上穿著的是合適的衣服。
作者簡(jiǎn)介
湯姆·霍曼二世(Tom Hallman,Jr.)因發(fā)表在波特蘭《奧瑞岡人》(Oregonian)報(bào)紙上一系列有關(guān)山姆·賴特納的報(bào)導(dǎo)而獲2001年普利策報(bào)導(dǎo)文學(xué)獎(jiǎng)。他從1980年任職《奧瑞岡人》至今,是具有25年以上經(jīng)驗(yàn)的資深記者,主要撰寫專題報(bào)導(dǎo)和敘事文稿。
霍曼土生土長(zhǎng)于波特蘭,畢業(yè)于美國(guó)德雷克大學(xué)(Drake University),曾任紐約《赫斯特雜志》(HearstMagazines)改稿編輯、奧瑞岡州《先趨報(bào)》(Herald)及華盛頓州《三城先趨報(bào)》(Tri-CityHerald)記者,之后加入《奧瑞岡人》,負(fù)責(zé)采訪報(bào)導(dǎo)警界長(zhǎng)達(dá)十年。同時(shí),霍曼也將關(guān)注角度落在一般民眾的生活上。
霍曼多次奪得美國(guó)境內(nèi)重要的報(bào)導(dǎo)寫作獎(jiǎng),如1984年李文史東年輕記者獎(jiǎng),1995年和1999年普利策獎(jiǎng),1996和2001年美國(guó)新聞編輯協(xié)會(huì)無截稿時(shí)限類的杰出寫作獎(jiǎng)、尼克森全國(guó)寫作獎(jiǎng)等。
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