愛華網(wǎng)第二次作業(yè)布置大家寫按時間順序組織的作文，抽查了部分同學的，不太滿意，文章大多數(shù)都比較簡單，而且錯誤也很多，可見大家寫作還并未中學畢業(yè)，所以必須要努力呀！建議大家多找一些四級范文來背誦或者熟讀！
在這里給大家掛上兩篇同學的文章，大家感受一下：
No1.
In the morning, I was waked by myclock. SoI washedquickly and then asked my classmates to play basketball. I think itis very interesting. Also we can benefit from it. For example,That could strenth our body. And wecould reduce our weight. After that, we had to stay at my room toread some books. In the afternoon, my friends and I were going shopping all the time. When we gotback, we were very tired, but we were happy.
該篇文章存在的問題：
1. 簡單。 單詞簡單、句式簡單，內(nèi)容簡單。
2. 承接用詞不恰當。
3. 非句首字母大寫
4. 語法仍有錯誤。
No 2
How beautiful a day
It was a cloudy day, also a weekend. It would bevery confortable If to go outfor a walk.
When the clockawaken me up at 6:00 am, I got up quickly and did my wash,Then I went to the playground donesome sports like running and playing basketball. After that I wentto have breakfast and had a rest. I called my friend Bing when itwas 8:00am and decided to went toBailuzhou. We began our walk along the street and acrossed thebridge. we talked a lot about our school, our town while watchingthe beautiful view when we reached the sands of ganjiang I feltvery happy and ran here and there like a bird. Bing smiled andtaken photos of me when I didn'tcare.
After playing on the sands, we walkedBailuzhou, In there I saw many trees whichvery old and the birds sang and so on. It is a verybeautiful place that I want to stay and Ilike it very much.
When it was about 1:00 pm and we felt alittle tired we went to have our lunch. Then we went back school bybus when it about 2:30.
That afternoon I had nice sleep.
How nice a day and I felt veryhappy.
該篇文章的評析
1. 文章結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，內(nèi)容豐富，句式也還多樣
2. 語法錯誤較多，意思表達有些含糊。
3. 某些句子拖沓，不簡潔，過于堆砌。
總評：
寫作是英語綜合能力的應用，要寫好一篇文章要注意以下幾個環(huán)節(jié)：單詞、短語、句子和段落。單詞和短語必須平時不斷地積累，而句子的運用技巧和段落的安排技巧則需要大家多閱讀多學范文。
文章由多個句子組成。一個好句子的標準就是完整、連貫和簡潔，也就是說：一個句子首先要表達一個完整的思想（句子完整，意思完整）；句與句之間要有清楚而合理的聯(lián)系，不能存在以下的問題，例如：平行結(jié)構(gòu)有缺點、代詞指代不清楚、邏輯主語和句子主語不一致、人稱、數(shù)、語態(tài)、時態(tài)、語氣混亂等等；句子不應該堆砌，只要意思表達清楚，用詞少不是問題，甚至越少越好。
例如：
1. In my opinion, I think your plan isfeasible.其中I think和 In my opinion就是意思一樣的詞匯的堆砌。
2. 剛才第二篇文章中的：In there I saw many trees which very old and the birds sang and soon.就過于繁瑣，可簡化為：There I sawmanyvery oldtrees and birdsinging and so on.
3. 錯誤：A man is judgednot only by what he says but also by his deed.
正確：A man is judged not only by what hesays but also by what he does.
只有加強英語基礎知識，多看多讀，才能有效地避免這些錯誤，才有必要學習一些寫作的技巧。
