愛華網(wǎng)Test 3 P513
一、寫作題目
Think carefully about the issue presented in the followingexcerpt and the assignment below
Knowledge is power. In agriculture, medicine, and industry, forexample, knowledge has liberated us from hunger, disease, andtedious labor. Today, however, our knowledge has become so powerfulthat it is beyond our control. We know how to do many things, butwe do not know where, when, or even whether this know-how should beused.
Assignment: Can knowledge be a burden ratherthan a benefit? Plan and write an essay in which you developyour point of view on this issue. Support your position withreasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies,experience, or observation.
題目翻譯：
知識就是力量。例如，農(nóng)業(yè)、醫(yī)學(xué)、工業(yè)等方面的知識使我們從饑餓、疾病和單調(diào)的勞作中得到了解放。然而，如今我們的知識變得如此強(qiáng)大，以至于超出了我們的控制范圍。我們知道如何去做很多事情，但我們不知道何地、何時，甚至是否需要將這種認(rèn)識付諸于實際運(yùn)用。
命題：
知識有可能成為一種負(fù)擔(dān)，而不是福祉嗎？
二、6分范文
Knowledge is power; it liberates us, enlightens us, and allowsus to grow and expand and better our conditions. Today, ourknowledge of the world has grown immensely, and could be seen as“beyond our control”, and even a burden. However, history shows usthat while great knowledge can sometimes be a heavy burden, italways has outweighing benefits.
History is rife with examples of knowledge being a burden, butultimately proving to be beneficial. For instance, Galileo, a 17thcentury astronomer and scientist, was arguably the greatestcontributor to science of our time. His diligent research of ourEarth and solar system led to groundbreaking discoveries that, atthe time, were extremely controversial. Galileo was the firstscientist, and person, to question the Church’s statement that theEarth was the center of the solar system, and all other planets andthe Sun revolved around it. He instead argued, and proved throughresearch, that the Sun was the center of our galaxy, and Earth justanother planet in its orbit. This knowledge was profound,enlightening, and powerful; it was also a great burden.
Galileo’s theory was met with disbelief, outrage, and violentopposition; it was an extreme burden to him. The Church was furiousat Galileo for disproving its teachings because at the time, theChurch’s word was law. Never before had its teachings been soscientifically and poignantly questioned. To think that the Earthwasn’t the center around which all things revolved was a shockingand humbling fact that those so fervently set in their beliefscouldn’t accept. Galileo was immediately attacked and interrogatedbecause of his powerful knowledge. He was declared a heretic, andexcommunicated from the Church. Galileo was a very religious man;this social and spiritual ostracizing broke him completely. Evenstill, he knew that although his knowledge was a heavy and painfulburden, it was true, and would later benefit generations ofscientists to come. Today, we attribute Galileo’s discoveries assome of the most important scientific findings of the CommonEra.
Galileo’s story is a historical example of powerful knowledgebeing a burden, but ultimately having extremely positive benefits.If it weren’t for great minds constantly expanding our knowledge ofthe world, we would be a stagnant people, never moving forward andcreating new and marvelous things. Knowledge truly is a tool thatcan change the world and although it may sometimes be inconvenient,it is the most powerful thing we have.
知識就是力量。它解放我們，啟迪我們，使我們成長，改善我們的條件狀況。如今，我們對世界的了解得到了極大的提高，可以視為“超出了我們的控制范圍”，甚至成了一種負(fù)擔(dān)。然而，歷史表明，盡管偉大的知識有時會成為一種沉重的負(fù)擔(dān)，但它總會帶來更多的福祉。
歷史上，知識給人帶來負(fù)擔(dān)，但最終被證明對人有益的事例并不鮮見。以17世紀(jì)的天文學(xué)家和科學(xué)家伽利略為例，他或許是歷史上對科學(xué)貢獻(xiàn)最大的人之一。他對于地球和太陽系的辛勤研究帶來了突破性的發(fā)現(xiàn)，而這種發(fā)現(xiàn)在當(dāng)時極具爭議性。當(dāng)時教會認(rèn)為，地球是太陽系的中心，其他行星和太陽都圍繞地球運(yùn)動。伽利略是質(zhì)疑這一說法的第一位科學(xué)家，第一個人。他辯稱太陽是星系的中心，地球只是運(yùn)行在其軌道上的行星之一，并通過研究證明了這一點(diǎn)。這項知識意義深遠(yuǎn)，富于啟迪，力量強(qiáng)大。同時，它也是個巨大的負(fù)擔(dān)。
伽利略的理論遭遇了懷疑，憤怒，和暴力反對；它成了他極大的負(fù)擔(dān)。教會對伽利略感到憤怒，因為他反駁了教會的學(xué)說，而在當(dāng)時，教會的話語就是法律。在此之前，它的教義從未遇到如此尖銳的科學(xué)的質(zhì)疑。想一想，地球不是宇宙的中心，萬物并不圍繞地球轉(zhuǎn)動，這種事實太令人震驚，太令人羞辱了，這些熱烈地抱持自己信念的人是無法接受的。因為他的知識，伽利略立刻遭到了攻擊和審訊。他被宣布為異教徒，并被驅(qū)逐出教會。伽利略篤信宗教；這種社會和精神上的放逐徹底擊垮了他。即使如此，他知道，他的知識盡管是一種沉重而痛苦的負(fù)擔(dān)，卻是真理，將惠及以后的科學(xué)家。如今，我們把伽利略的發(fā)現(xiàn)歸于紀(jì)元以來最重要的科學(xué)發(fā)現(xiàn)之一。
伽利略的故事是知識成為負(fù)擔(dān)，最終卻帶來非常積極的影響的歷史證據(jù)。如果沒有智者不斷擴(kuò)展我們對世界的知識，我們將會成為僵化的民族，永遠(yuǎn)不能前進(jìn)，創(chuàng)造出非凡的作品。知識確實是一種可以改變世界的工具，盡管有時它會帶來不便，它仍是我們所有的最強(qiáng)大的東西。
三、得分點(diǎn)詳解
1effectively and insightfully develops a point of view on the issueand demonstrates outstanding critical thinking, using clearlyappropriate examples, reasons, and other evidence to support itsposition
圍繞論題有效、深刻地發(fā)展一個論點(diǎn)，運(yùn)用貼切的事例、因果分析和其他證據(jù)支持論點(diǎn)，從而展示出色的思辨能力。
針對命題“知識有可能成為一種負(fù)擔(dān)，而不是福祉嗎？”，本文提出論點(diǎn)：“盡管偉大的知識有時會成為一種沉重的負(fù)擔(dān)，但它總會帶來更多的福祉?！?whilegreat knowledge can sometimes be a heavy burden, it always hasoutweighing benefits.)。
為了證明這一論點(diǎn)，作者用夾敘夾議的手法展開伽利略發(fā)現(xiàn)和宣傳“地心說”的事例。在論證過程中，作者很好地做到了抽象概念具體化?！癒nowledge”在此具體指伽利略提出的日心說：“太陽是星系的中心，地球只是運(yùn)行在其軌道上的行星之一?！?(the Sun wasthe center of our galaxy, and Earth just another planet in itsorbit.)日心說推翻了地球是太陽系中心的錯誤認(rèn)識，卻給伽利略帶來了極大的負(fù)擔(dān)：“因為他的知識，伽利略立刻遭到了攻擊和審訊。他被宣布為異教徒，并被驅(qū)逐出教會?！?Galileo was immediately attacked and interrogated because of hispowerful knowledge. He was declared a heretic, and excommunicatedfrom the Church.)接下來作者筆鋒一轉(zhuǎn)，談到了知識帶來的福祉：“即使如此，他知道，他的知識盡管是一種沉重而痛苦的負(fù)擔(dān)，卻是真理，將惠及以后的科學(xué)家。如今，我們把伽利略的發(fā)現(xiàn)歸于紀(jì)元以來最重要的科學(xué)發(fā)現(xiàn)之一?！?Even still, he knew that although his knowledge was a heavy andpainful burden, it was true, and would later benefit generations ofscientists to come. Today, we attribute Galileo’s discoveries assome of the most important scientific findings of the CommonEra.)
在結(jié)尾段，作者把伽利略例子的啟示推廣到人類獲得的一切新知識的意義：“如果沒有智者不斷擴(kuò)展我們對世界的知識，我們將會成為僵化的民族，永遠(yuǎn)不能前進(jìn)，創(chuàng)造出非凡的作品。知識確實是一種可以改變世界的工具，盡管有時它會帶來不便，它仍是我們所有的最強(qiáng)大的東西。”(If it weren’t for great minds constantly expanding our knowledgeof the world, we would be a stagnant people, never moving forwardand creating new and marvelous things. Knowledge truly is a toolthat can change the world and although it may sometimes beinconvenient, it is the most powerful thing wehave.)這句話實現(xiàn)了從個體到一般，從特殊到普遍的升華，使得伽利略的單個事例具有了代表性。
整篇文章事例貼切，分析深刻有力，展現(xiàn)了出色的思辨能力。
2is well organized and clearly focused, demonstrating clearcoherence and smooth progression of ideas
結(jié)構(gòu)合理，中心明確，思路連貫，銜接自然。
文章采用總-分-總的結(jié)構(gòu)，首段提出論點(diǎn)，中間段用事例證明論點(diǎn)，末段總結(jié)事例和升華主題。在敘述事例的時候，作者綜合運(yùn)用了表示轉(zhuǎn)折、讓步的“however”, “while”, “but”，“Even still”，表示舉例的 “forinstance”,表示時間的 “today”， “at thattime”等等。在段與段之間，作者以過渡句銜接。如第二段開頭引出事例的“歷史上，知識給人帶來負(fù)擔(dān)，但最終被證明對人有益的事例并不鮮見?！保℉istory is rife with examples of knowledge being a burden, butultimately proving to bebeneficial.）和第二段末的“這項知識意義深遠(yuǎn)，富于啟迪，力量強(qiáng)大。同時，它也是個巨大的負(fù)擔(dān)。”（This knowledgewas profound, enlightening, and powerful; it was also a greatburden.）
全文緊扣論點(diǎn)，不枝不蔓，起承轉(zhuǎn)合十分得體。
3exhibits skillful use of language, using a varied, accurate, andapt vocabulary
顯示運(yùn)用語言的技巧，詞匯豐富、準(zhǔn)確、恰當(dāng)
4demonstrates meaningful variety in sentence structure
運(yùn)用多種句子結(jié)構(gòu)
5is free of most errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics
在語法、用法和技巧上錯誤很少
本篇范文表達(dá)極富文采。文章以諺語開頭： “Knowledge ispower”，顯得簡潔有力。接下來是一個不規(guī)則的排比：“它解放我們，啟迪我們，使我們成長，改善我們的條件狀況?！?itliberates us, enlightens us, and allows us to grow and expand andbetter our conditions.) 類似的排比在文章中多次出現(xiàn)，如第二段末的 “This knowledge wasprofound, enlightening, and powerful;” 以及第三段開頭的 “Galileo’s theorywas met with disbelief, outrage, and violentopposition;”文章的末段還使用了“借代”(metonymy)的修辭手法——用 “偉大的頭腦”(greatmind)代指有智慧的人。作者對各種句式的運(yùn)用也很熟練。如倒裝句: “Never before had its teachingsbeen so scientifically and poignantly questioned.” 不定式做主語: “Tothink that the Earth wasn’t the center around which all thingsrevolved was a shocking and humbling fact that those so ferventlyset in their beliefs couldn’t accept.” 虛擬語氣: “If it weren’t forgreat minds constantly expanding our knowledge of the world, wewould be a stagnant people, never moving forward and creating newand marvelous things.”等等。全文長短句結(jié)合，參差有序。
四、經(jīng)典詞句
lOutweigh 超過
例：While great knowledge can sometimes be a heavy burden, italways has outweighing benefits.
Her need to save money outweighs her desire to spend it onfun.
類似結(jié)構(gòu)的詞匯：outlive, outnumber, outwit…
larguably可提出證據(jù)加以證明的
例：Galileo, a 17th century astronomer and scientist, was arguablythe greatest contributor to science of our time.
Penicillin is arguably the greatest medical discovery of thetwentieth century.
lgroundbreaking 突破性的
例：His diligent research of our Earth and solar system led togroundbreaking discoveries that, at the time, were extremelycontroversial.
After the discovery, scientists decided to carry out agroundbreaking experiment, which is expected to take place thismonth.
lExcommunicate 把…逐出教會
例：He was declared a heretic, and excommunicated from theChurch.
In 1520, Pope Leo the Tenth threatened to excommunicate Martin Luther if he did not recant hisreligious beliefs.
五、事例擴(kuò)展
伽利略的事例還可用于挑戰(zhàn)權(quán)威和大眾的其他命題
1.Is the opinion of the majority-in government or in any othercircumstances-a poor guide?
2.Do people accomplish more when they are allowed to do things intheir own way?
3.Is it important to question the ideas and decisions of people inpositions of authority?
4.Are people more likely to be productive and successful when theyignore the opinions of others?
5.Is it more valuable for people to fit in than to be unique anddifferent?
6.Do people need to "unlearn," or reject, many of their assumptionsand ideas?
7.Are organizations or groups most successful when their memberspursue individual wishes and goals?
8.Is it better for a society when people act as individuals ratherthan copying the ideas and opinions of others?
9.Are widely held views often wrong, or are such views more likely tobe correct?
